Sexual ethics

In a few words, with a few verse references, here is what I believe about God-honoring sexual stewardship for all people and God’s love and wisdom for gay** people:

1. Experiencing same sex attraction is a product of the Fall (Matthew 6:12-13; James 1:14-15; Hebrews 4:15). Finding people of the same sex physically attractive and desiring romantic relationships with them (being gay) is one way the brokenness of sin shows up in our fallen world. When Adam and Eve disobeyed God, their sin unleashed a ripple effect that distorted every part of creation. The world around us, the people around us, and even ourselves are no longer as God originally intended them to be.
2. God did not intend for anyone to experience same sex attraction (Romans 1:26-28, Romans 5:12, James 1:13, Psalm 51:5). Same sex attraction was not part of His good design at Creation. Yet we are born into a world marred by brokenness, and, as a result of that brokenness, some people develop same-sex attractions.
3. Experiencing same sex attraction is not a sin, and God does not send people to Hell merely because boys are attracted to boys or girls are attracted to girls (John 10:28-30; Romans 8:38-39; Ephesians 4:30). Experiencing same-sex attraction is a form of brokenness and a source of temptation, but temptation is not the same as sin. God does not hold our involuntary attractions against us.
4. No one chooses what kind of attractions they will experience, but everyone chooses how they will respond to those attractions.
5. The consensus of scientists is that some combination of nature and nurture contribute to the development of sexual orientation, but those environmental and biological contributors are not known.
6. Sexual orientation change efforts (SOCEs) have been proven to be harmfully ineffective. 96% of participants report no change in sexual orientation while SOCEs increase participants’ likelihood of attempting suicide by 92%. God has the power to change anything He desires, but the spiritual and psychological costs of pursuing sexual orientation change far outweigh the potential benefits.
7. God calls all Christians to vocational singleness or Christian marriage (Matt 19, 1 Cor 7, Ephesians 5). Vocational singleness is a lifelong calling to abstinent singleness for the sake of kingdom work with undivided attention. Christian marriage is a lifelong covenant between one Christian man and one Christian woman, lived with openness to the kingdom work of raising children.
8. There is no context in which God blesses same-sex sexual activity or same-sex marriage, and these are sin in any context (Rom 1, Lev 18:22 and 20:13, 1 Cor 6:9-10).

Each time the Bible addresses same-sex sexual activity (often called the “clobber passages”), it names it as sin. It is true that these passages appear in contexts involving rape, incest, adultery, or sex outside of marriage. Still, as Equip has explored in depth when responding to revisionist arguments, these passages provide far stronger support for a historic Christian sexual ethic than for a redefined one.

At the same time, Christians do not have to rely on the “clobber passages” alone to understand God’s wisdom for sexual stewardship, including for those who experience same-sex attraction. The whole of Scripture consistently reveals God’s design for human flourishing and His intended order for the world, even in the midst of brokenness. When it comes to how Christians steward their capacity for sex, the Bible presents two clear paths: vocational singleness or Christian marriage with someone of the opposite sex.

Jesus and Paul spoke clearly and positively about both of these callings. In passages such as Matthew 19 and 1 Corinthians 7, they describe vocational singleness as a meaningful, kingdom-focused life where a Christian forgoes marriage, sexual expression, and biological children in order to focus on kingdom work parents don’t have the time, energy, or financial freedom to do. In Matthew 19 and Ephesians 5, Jesus and Paul describe Christian marriage as a lifelong covenant between a Christian man and woman marked by intimacy, the raising of children, and a living picture of the gospel.

Rather than approaching Scripture with the question, “What is permissible when it comes to my sexuality?” Christians are invited to ask, “What is most wise and most good?” Scripture’s answer is consistent and clear: God’s best for every Christian’s sexual stewardship is vocational singleness or Christian marriage with someone of the opposite sex.

Gender ethics

In a few words, with a few verse references, here is what I believe about God-honoring gender stewardship for all people and God’s love and wisdom for trans** people:

1. Experiencing gender incongruence is a product of the Fall (Matthew 6:12-13; James 1:14-15; Hebrews 4:15). Experiencing a distressing disconnect between one’s biological sex and one’s internal sense of maleness or femaleness (being trans) is one way the brokenness of sin shows up in our fallen world. When Adam and Eve disobeyed God, their sin unleashed a ripple effect that distorted every part of creation. The world around us, the people around us, and even ourselves are no longer as God originally intended them to be.
2. God did not intend for anyone to experience gender incongruence (Romans 1:26-28, Romans 5:12, James 1:13, Psalm 51:5). Gender incongruence was not part of His good design at Creation. Yet we are born into a world marred by brokenness, and, as a result of that brokenness, some people develop gender incongruence. When He envisioned each of us being born into a perfect world, God intended for each person to be either a male who feels fully like a man or a female who feels fully like a woman (in other words, a male-bodied man or a female-bodied woman). This diversity and corresponding difference were meant to display a holistic imago Dei, the image of God (Genesis 1-3). When someone who is not intersex experiences gender incongruence, I believe their biological sex reflects God’s design, while their internal gender experience reflects the effects of the Fall.
3. Experiencing gender incongruence is not a sin, and God does not send people to Hell merely because they experience a distressing disconnect between his or her sex and internal sense of maleness or femaleness (John 10:28-30; Romans 8:38-39; Ephesians 4:30). Experiencing gender incongruence is a form of brokenness and a source of temptation, but temptation is not the same as sin. Everything in this world is touched by brokenness, including each person’s experience of biological sex and gender. Cultural concepts of gender—including the arbitrary elevation of one gender over another and assigning arbitrary preferences to one gender or another—are also affected by this brokenness.
4. No one chooses to experience enduring, robust gender incongruence, but they do choose how to respond to the incongruence.
5. The consensus of scientists is that some combination of nature and nurture likely contributes to the development of gender incongruence, but those environmental and biological contributors are not known.
6. While some estimates suggest that 80% of people experience relief from gender incongruence over time,¹ there is no reliable formula for “healing” gender incongruence.
7. Faithfulness to our biological sex includes accepting our biological sex and following God’s wisdom as we steward our capacity for relationship as sexed individuals. Beyond this, God did not provide further universal (all people in all times and all places) prescriptions for maleness and femaleness or masculinity and femininity. Instead, He allowed space for humanity to develop cultural norms for gender and gender expression. Scripture repeatedly shows men and women who defy what we might consider contemporary gender stereotypes (Psalm 51:10-11, Micah 6:8, I Samuel 18:1-3, Proverbs 31, Judges 4:4, Acts 16:14, Luke 7:47,50).
8. There appears to be a biblical pattern of condemning genital alteration (Deuteronomy 22:5 and Deuteronomy 23:1), cross-dressing as part of cult practices (1 Corinthians 11:2-16), and the elimination of meaningful gender difference (1 Corinthians 11:2-16). Historical evidence suggests the authors of Scripture were aware of trans people.
9. Taking medical steps to alter one’s biological sex rejects God’s gift of biological sex and is therefore sinful. At the same time, someone who has medically transitioned still has full access to God’s grace and forgiveness and can be restored in relationship with Him, even if detransition is not possible. The Bible makes clear that sinful genital alteration does not prevent someone from imaging God or belonging to His family (Isaiah 56:1-5, Acts 8:25-39).
10. God calls His Church to support one another with grace as we seek to faithfully steward His gift of biological sex and gender. Different forms of social transitioning may be either sinful or morally neutral depending on one’s motivations and intent. Denying one’s biological sex or intentionally deceiving others through social transitioning falls outside of God’s design. At the same time, a person may take practical steps to reduce their experience of incongruence (for example, using single-stall bathrooms, wearing androgynous clothing, or using gender-neutral pronouns) in ways that honor God’s gift of their biological sex.
11. Hormonal and surgical transition have not been scientifically demonstrated to reliably reduce depression or suicidality. There is no clear evidence supporting the theory that a brain-sex/body-sex mismatch causes gender incongruence.
12. Unique challenges arise when gender incongruence is experienced by children and adolescents and becomes visible to peers. I generally defer to the authority of parents in discipling their children. Ministering to children who experience gender incongruence, and teaching children more broadly about it, requires wisdom and compassion.

When a Christian asks, “Who am I, fundamentally? Who did God create me to be? How does God see me?” they are asking an ontological question. Our understanding of God’s intentions then shapes how we faithfully respond to the brokenness we experience in this world. God intended for each person to be born into a perfect world as either a male-bodied man or a female-bodied woman. Yet we live in a post-Fall world, and some experience a painful incongruence between their biological sex and their felt gender.

So which reflects God’s design, and which reflects the effects of the Fall? And how should a Christian who experiences gender incongruence faithfully navigate that tension?

When someone is not intersex and their chromosomes, gonads, sexual anatomy, and secondary sex characteristics all align, we can clearly see God’s intentions for that person’s biological sex.

Because God’s design for biological sex is evident, we can also infer His intention for that person’s experience of gender. When a person is not intersex yet experiences gender incongruence, I believe their biological sex reflects God’s good design while their experience of gender reflects the brokenness of a fallen world. God intended to gift them with both a particular biological sex and a corresponding experience of gender, but that experience has been disrupted by the Fall. God intended his maleness and his sense of being a man to be received as a gift.

Gender incongruence, then, is not evidence that God made a mistake, but evidence that we live in a world where God’s good design is often experienced through the distortions of the Fall.

**For the sake of clarity, here are the terms and definitions that I use in these conversations:

Gay—a general term for someone who experiences same-sex attraction

Sex—also referred to as biological sex: being male or female as defined by chromosomes, gonads, sexual anatomy, and secondary sex characteristics

Gender—also referred to as gender orientation; a person’s internal sense of being a woman/a man or being masculine/feminine, influenced in part by cultural gender roles/expectations

Femininity/Masculinity—a person’s sense of being a woman/man and cultural expectations for how women/men will express their gender

Gender Incongruence—an acute sense that one’s gender does not correspond with the experience typically associated with the person’s biological sex

Transgender/Trans—a general term for anyone who experiences gender incongruence; it can include people who have engaged in some level of transitioning, but is not limited to those who have

Gender Identity—how a person internally describes and labels their gender

Gender Expression—how a person publicly expresses or presents their gender through outward appearance, behaviors, clothing, voice, body language, and name/pronouns/etc.

Gender Dysphoria—a clinical psychological condition where a person experiences significant distress or discomfort due to a mismatch between their internal sense of being a women/man and their biological sex; this phrase has negative connotations for some trans people as it might suggest being trans is a mental illness

Genderqueer—a gender identity that doesn’t fit the male/female binary or in some other way violates society’s expectations.

Nonbinary—not identifying as either male or female, or not identifying with masculine or feminine traits.

Intersex—being born with atypical features in one’s sexual anatomy and/or sex chromosomes

Transitioning—various steps one takes to represent oneself as a person’s gender, as opposed to a person’s biological sex. Gender transition can be organized into three categories: social transition, hormonal transition, and surgical transition.

Social transitioning involves taking steps within one’s social circles to mitigate incongruence non-medically. These include name and/or pronoun changes, adjustments to one’s appearance through clothing and hairstyle changes, wrapping/taping to flatten the chest, packing to give the appearance of having a bulge, using single-stall bathrooms, using the bathroom of people of the opposite sex, and voice training to raise or lower the pitch of one’s voice.

Hormonal transitioning involves the use of hormone blockers and/or Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) that chemically alters a person’s secondary sex characteristics to align with their gender identity.

Surgical transitioning can include adding or removing breasts, various forms of plastic surgery to change facial features or enhance other parts of the body, vocal cord surgeries, and altering genitalia. The most common terms associated with surgical transitioning is “top” (think top half of the body) and “bottom” (refers exclusively to genital alterations) surgery.

1. Steensma, T. D., Biemond, R., de Boer, F., & Cohen-Kettenis, P. T. (2011). Desisting and persisting gender dysphoria after childhood: a qualitative follow-up study. Clinical child psychology and psychiatry, 16(4), 499-516. ↩︎